What if You Stopped Trying to Catch Up?

The other day, I watched my son make his way down a rocky path. He wasn't thinking about how quickly he could get to the bottom or worrying about what came next. He was just figuring out the step in front of him.

Meanwhile, I realized how rarely we adults move through our days that way.

We're almost always thinking about what's next.

I catch myself saying it all the time: Once I catch up, I'll feel better.

Once I get through my inbox. Once I finish the laundry. Once I make the appointments, return the texts, order the thing my kids need, finish the work project, get the house organized...

Then I'll have some space.

Except lately I've been wondering: What if we never actually catch up?

Not in a depressing way. Just in a this is life way.

There will always be another email. Another appointment to make. Another load of laundry. Another work deadline. Another thing we could be doing.

And if we're waiting until all of it is finished before we allow ourselves to slow down, do something we enjoy, or simply be present - we might be waiting forever.

The finish line keeps moving

I think a lot of us have gotten really good at treating life like one giant to-do list.

We tell ourselves we'll take the walk after we finish the work.

We'll call the friend when things calm down.

We'll sit outside once the kitchen is clean.

We'll read the book when the emails are answered.

We'll rest when we've earned it.

But every time we cross something off, something else gets added.

The problem isn't necessarily that we're doing anything wrong. We may just be expecting ourselves to reach a finish line that doesn't exist.

What if the goal isn't catching up?

This is something I talk about often in coaching: sometimes the answer isn't figuring out how to fit everything in.

Sometimes it's deciding that everything doesn't need to fit.

What actually needs your attention today?

What can wait?

What are you doing because it matters to you—and what are you doing because you've decided you should?

Where could “good enough” actually be good enough?

And maybe the hardest one:

Can you let yourself enjoy something before everything else is done?

Make room for your life while it's happening

I'm trying to remind myself that the things that make life feel good don't have to be rewards for completing everything else.

The walk can happen even if there are emails waiting.

You can sit down with your kids even if the kitchen isn't clean.

You can go to yoga even if your to-do list is long.

You can stop working for the day even if there's more you could do.

There will always be a next thing.

The work is learning not to let the next thing steal you away from the thing that's happening right now.

So if you've been feeling behind lately, maybe you don't need to catch up.

Maybe you just need to decide what's enough for today.

And let the rest wait.

A little reset for this week

Before you add another thing to your list, ask yourself:

What actually needs to happen today? What can wait? And what do I want to make room for - even if everything else isn't finished?

Because your life isn't what happens once you finally get through your to-do list.

It's what's happening while you're working through it.